When people think of IVF, they often imagine medical procedures, injections and laboratory work. But what is less visible – and often harder – is the emotional journey that comes along it. As a fertility counsellor, I’ve witnessed how couples describe IVF as a “rollercoaster” of emotions: hope, anxiety, fear, and sometimes heartbreak, all woven together in a cycle that can feel really unpredictable.
Accepting these emotions is not a sign of weakness – it is a sign of strength. By understanding them, we can find heathier ways to cope and move through IVF with flexibility and kindness.
🌿 The Highs of Hope
Every new cycle begins with hope. The possibility of holding your baby fuels the courage and resilience. This hope gives strength to face injections, scans and procedures. It is important to celebrate this hope – it keeps you moving forward and reminds you of the bigger picture.
🌧️ The Weight of Fear and Uncertainty
With hope, fear often quietly walks in. Will this cycle work? What if it doesn’t? What if my body doesn’t respond?
For many, two-week wait – the time between embryo transfer and pregnancy test – is the most emotionally intense phase. The mind swings between “what if it worked? And “what if it didn’t”
One woman described it to me as “living two realities at once.” She imagined herself pregnant, yet also tried to prepare for disappointment. The uncertainty was really exhausting.
This fear is normal and valid. Naming it – simply saying “I feel scared” – often helps reduce its intensity. And remembering that others share these feelings helps remove the sense of isolation.
💔 Coping with Disappointment
When cycles don’t go as planned, disappointment and grief are heavy companions. It’s normal to grieve not only the outcome but also the effort, time, and emotional investment. Be kind to yourself during this time. Healing takes patience, and seeking support can make a huge difference.
A couple once told me, “It feels like we’re losing a dream, each time it doesn’t work.” Their words stayed with me, because IVF isn’t about biology – it’s about dreams, identity and the future people imagine for themselves.
🛠️ Practical Coping Strategies
- Journaling: Writing down feelings helps reduce release bottled up emotions.
- Open Conversations: Share with your partner – IVF is a shared journey.
- Professional Counselling: Sometimes a neutral space is all you need to process all the emotions.
- Mindful Breaks: Deep breathing, meditating or even short walks can calm all the anxieties.
💞 A Gentle Reminder
Whatever you feel during IVF – hope, fear, sadness, or excitement – is valid. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. IVF is not only a physical process; it is an emotional one too.
Always remember you are stronger than you think. Be kind to yourself through each step of this journey.
📌 Counsellor’s Takeaway
- Your feelings are valid – don’t judge yourself by them.
- Hope is your strength; fear is natural; sadness is human.
- Share, don’t hide – talk to your partner, a trusted friend or your counsellor.
- Take small breaks for your mind and body.
- You are not alone – support is available.
